Revising with Williams

Original: It is the responsibility of the student to call the instructor’s attention to a possible grading error in a timely manner, but not more than 12 months after the questionable grade is posted. Three years following the close of any term of enrollment, the student’s transcript will be considered to be the final indisputable record of academic achievement. Specifically, at the end of three years, grades are considered final: and no changes will be made to transcripts (e.g., no term or individual withdrawals, no grade omissions, no recalculated grades based on mathematical or clerical error, no incomplete removals, etc.). The only exception to this rule will be master’s specialist and doctoral field-based research, internships and dissertation hours.

Revised: It is the student’s responsibility to call to the instructor’s attention a possible grading error no more than 12 months after the questionable grade is posted. The student’s transcript is considered the indisputable record of academic achievement. Grades are considered final and no changes will be made after three years following the close of any term of enrollment (e.g., no term or individual withdrawals, no grade omissions, no recalculated grades based on mathematical or clerical error, no incomplete removals, etc.). Master’s specialist and doctoral field-based research, internships and dissertation hours are the only exceptions to this rule.

In William's Clarity chapter he explains that most clear sentences begin by identifying a character and then giving that character an action. This allows the reader to identify what exactly the sentence is about and what the character in the sentences is doing, and thus, making it much more clear. I tried to do this throughout the passage. In the Cohesion chapter Williams discusses managing the flow of information. To get this passage to flow, I took out some redundant phrases and rearranged a few sentences so the same thing wasn’t being repeated at the end of one sentences and the beginning of the next. Finally, in William’s Emphasis chapter it says that you should manage the endings of sentences by doing a few different things. One of the ways is to move important information to the right, or the end of the sentence. I found this a bit difficult, seeing as how it kind of contradicts the first rule I used which said begin a sentence with the character. However, I realized that the character is not always the most important part of the sentence, often it’s the action of said character. Thanks to Williams, one paragraph from the EMU catalog is now written much better.